I officially cannot get enough of the beach. Woke up early this morning and headed to Huntington Beach to lay out and catch some sun. My skin has been deprived of its dose for too long. I could feel the melanin trickling in again!
The breaking waves provided a soundtrack to some reflection. On being home again, I love that I have been able to fill my days with people. Although a year has gone by since I moved out of California, with some people it feels like not a day has passed since we last spoke. With others I feel the rift that has formed between us since I left, forged by the distance that has separated us, but it’s nothing that can’t be repaired by some quality time. I feel that the desire to be there for each other surpasses any obstacles (or rifts) in between.
From purging my room of things I no longer want to own, to revisiting old friends, to indulging in delicious California food, to missing people back east, to trying to figure out what the future is going to look like, these past few days back have been mentally busy. Strangely, I feel at peace with it all. I remind myself that it’s a part of life’s ebb and flow, and everything that is meant to happen will eventually happen anyway, so trying to control any of it would simply be silly. In the past, I’ve always resisted ever so slightly to being exactly where I am. My mind has an incessant habit of wandering to places I’ve been before or would rather be, a habit which has hindered many an experience in the past and prevented me from being completely happy. Today when I dug my feet into the sand, I grounded myself in both Here and Now and wanted nothing more than what I had in that moment.
“Just catch the wave don’t be afraid of loving me
The fundamental loneliness goes
Whenever two can dream a dream together”
Soundtrack of the day
1. Samba Da Bencao – Sergio Mendes
2. Harvest Moon – Neil Young
3. S’wonderful – Joao Gilberto
4. I Know You Know – Esperanza Spalding
5. Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You – Joanna Wang